Peace and Penguins: Relationships and Love. Oh, Brother.

Here's the deal: I'm tired of seeing hateful, one-sided, ugly relationships.

So many people in this generation are afraid to be alone, and that irks me to the very core. Where is the confidence? Where is the patience? Is it really worth it to stay in a terrible relationship when you're the only one doing any of the work to keep it going? I've witnessed it on so many occasions and it makes me sick to my stomach. How anyone could choose that sort of lifestyle over the opportunity to live alone (happily!)--until they actually find someone worthy of their time--is beyond my comprehension.

Since when did it become okay to act as a pawn in some narcissistic jerk-face's chess game? These pitiful creatures do everything they're told and never disobey what their significant other wants because that could potentially spell trouble for the relationship. And trouble? Well, that just won't work. So the poor little pawns just go about their lives, exhausting themselves to make sure that their master is happy (and secretly hoping that someday, just maybe, he/she will change into what they dream of).

Love isn't supposed to be like that. Love is about sharing your life with someone who actually wants you around because of who you are...not because they think they can order you around and turn you into their own personal slave. And, in addition, you should never be with someone because you think that you have the ability to "help them change".

Just the other day, I was discussing a past "sour relationship" with one of my co-workers. She told me all about this marriage she fell into because she was head-over-heels in love with a guy who treated her like crap. He put her through so much, and my heart absolutely broke for her as she shared her story. I can't remember the exact amount of time that she said they were together, but I know it took years off of her life. It's something that she still looks back on and regrets every single day. And her reasoning for keeping him around as long as she did? "I guess I just thought I could change him into a better man."

I understand the concept. It's admirable, in a way. Wanting to help someone better themselves is a good thing. The problem is this: PEOPLE WILL NOT CHANGE UNLESS THEY WANT TO. If you can't accept that, then misery is really going to love your company. Love and relationships aren't always a piece of cake, but they should never be misery-inducing. It takes two, my darlings. Two people who are willing to give and take.?

Be with someone because you love who they are...and the way that they treat you. Find someone who isn't afraid to admit when they're wrong, but also won't be afraid to call you out when you're being a jack-wagon. Arguments are okay. The important thing is that you go about them in the right way. Be with someone who makes you feel like you can be or do anything---someone who helps build your confidence...not demolish it. Don't be afraid to fall in love, but don't trick yourself into it either. The fear of being alone can manipulate you in ways that you didn't know possible and, as I've said numerous times on this blog, you should NEVER settle for less than you deserve.

If you're in a miserable, one-sided relationship, then you need to take a step back and realize that you deserve better. Lift your chin, take a deep breath, and find the strength to walk away.

If you can figure out a way to do that, then I can guarantee that happiness can (and will) find you.

All my love.

Source: http://peaceandpenguins.blogspot.com/2013/01/relationships-and-love-oh-brother.html

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